So I turned 30 on March 30th, I guess it's somewhat surprising that I managed to survive till now. Not much to say about it other than that, I certainly don't feel 30, I feel like I have no idea how to adult still. Been extremely tired lately, I think because I've been taking the medication that allows me to sleep a lot lately. So, fuck? Not much I can do about it other than stop taking it for a while and let my sleep schedule go to shit. Still waiting on stuff to be done for my headbase mold testing, but it's almost there I think.

Gdakon happened two weeks ago, so I'm late to post as usual, blame it on, uh, time dilation, yeah. In reality though, I've gotten sick from a convention for the first time in like four years, so that was an unpleasant surprise. Well, okay, sick with a virus, last Gdakon some bad eggs attempted to murder me and failed. Anyways, as usual, dealer's den was meh, maybe even more meh than usual as this time it wasn't even just me that didn't do great. I guess people are seriously running out of funds for fun things mowadays. :/ 
   Honestly though, I didn't enjoy the con as much this year as I did previous ones, some of it was due to the illness, but most of it was more, not sure, a lot of small things kept annoying me. People were being annoying, the hotel has some annoying things going on, Derresh didn't spend enough time with me, -as usual >:( - and generally, I dunno, feeling kinda left out. Part of that might be due to the omnipresent language barrier, but eh, I dunno. Maybe it's just a me problem and I should just shut the hell up, maybe it's an everyone else problem and people should respect me a bit more. Who knows, no one but me cares anyways. The hotel has severely gone down in quality over the years, even the breakfast isn't as good as it used to be. It's really starting to feel like Faltom all over again. Few good things I can say about the con though, I won the door sign contest even though I didn't manage to pull off my full vision for the project, am I too ambitious? maybe... I have plans for next year, so let's see if I can pull off a streak. I also made a big ass Gdakonek sticker which went for a surprisingly high amount on the charity auction, over 70 euroes. So I suppose I might make that a thing every year. Guess I'll be drawing a lot of Gdakoneks. I also made a few gifts for people which went over mixed. Not sure how much some people appreciated them, but my friend Agent really liked his, which I'm happy about.
   I haven't had a good headspace post-convention to really do much, with the whole recovering from sickness plus just generally feeling annoyed with everything. I really need to just be alone for a while and stop thinking about other people so much. I have to make my brain focus itself on the important shit, like planning my convention. Meanwhile the new meds are fucking weird. I can't tell if the increased dose is having an effect yet, as there's been so much going on, but I have been getting some sorta shivers or tremors in my nerves every so often, and it feels fucking weird. It also happens when I get that sorta stress jolt you get when something upsets/surprises you. (Or is that just a me thing?) Anyways, that's enough rambling about stuff for now, I need to get my shit together and get stuff done for once.

   I'm still here, trying to survive the cold. Winter, as usual, is the shittest time of year for me. Yes, the shittest, not shittiest. Anyways, Christmas is always rough for me, the rampant devaluation of actually giving a shit about people and putting emphasis on buying useless crap always gets to me, not to mention the fact that it starts in like fucking October over here, sheesh. The only highlight is that I cook Christmas dinner for friends, so it's an excuse to eat something tasty (even if it requires a ton of work). New years is also pretty stupid. While I do like fireworks, people seriously overdo it in Europe, like, everyone can buy them and launch them, so we get a ton of crappy fireworks and not really nice professional ones. (Well, unless you count those idiots that nearly removed the neighborhood by buying professional ones and setting them off IN THE STREET!) It's pretty bad for the environment on top of that, lots of resources get literally blown up for the sake of celebrating something that, quite frankly, isn't really that important. My compromise would easily be to just have a nice professional show in a safe, designated area, like a field or park. Not only is it nicer, it also significantly reduces both the resources used as well as the chance someone gets hurt. Saves the poor ambulance workers' sanity, you know?
   Now it's January, the objectively worst time of year. Vacation for many people is over, and there is nothing to look forward to this month. Plus on top of that, it's also the coldest time of the year, which means I am fucking dying constantly. You might think, "just wear x!" but you do realise my toes are never gonna get warm if they are literally ice cold no matter what I do. There has to be some heat to trap. I feel bad running the space heater constantly, but there's really nothing else I can do to warm up other than literally going under a blanket, which makes it kinda hard to, you know, do things. Other things of note, I've changed which medication I'm taking from venlafaxine to sertraline (AKA Zoloft). This shit has been giving me the weirdest side-effects as my body adjusts to it. Feels like all my nerves are pulsing and itchy and overly-sensitive mixed with a flu-esque body-ache. Thankfully seems like it's going away, but the end of the first week was really bad.
   Don't think there's much else to catch up on from here. Projects have been on the ice due to mood and the cold, and are slowly being thawed out now to, hopefully, get done before Gdakon (at the end of February). Sleep schedule has been absolutely fucked since I stopped taking the sleep meds, but I'm probably going to take them again once I get used to the sertraline just to pretend to be normal. I stopped taking it becuse It made me feel like crap for hours after waking up, but it's possible that it will work better with the new meds. Ugh, the amount of meds I have to manage just to achieve some semblance of normalcy really pisses me off. Thank the fucking gods Europe has a reasonable healthcare system and this isn't the most expensive thing in existence. Anyways, rant over, I'mma fuck off now, lol.